I think it was days back when I think I’ve finally resolved the ‘pessimist-optimist’ identity crisis I am having— though I’ve never ever worried much about the fact that I can’t take sides (because intuitively, it’s DUMB). I’m definitely not an optimist by mainstream standards and have often been called a pessimist but hell no, I’m never willing to accept that title. I’ll not go into why I am not willing to since it’ll take another post worth of stuff.
It occurred to me that I’m just entirely open to all kinds of possibilities. To me, anything that can happen (both good and bad) will possibly happen (note that this is different from the Murphy’s law etc.). Also, the probability of anything happening in a certain situation is almost equal for all possibilities. Therefore, I’m never sure about anything and therefore, I am highly paranoid but at the same time, a huge head-stuck-in-the-clouds idealist. I believe that anything can happen and this includes both good and bad things. But since bad things happening are often undesirable and good things happening are often desirable, I worry about the bad things that can happen but at the same time strive for the good ones or turn the bad ones into good ones.
(Okay, my eyes are tired and I think my (somewhat deliberate and inevitable) careless writing nowadays isn’t doing justice to these ideas/semi-epiphanies. I might do a re-post some other time. Ciao.)