So it’s been done and done before. When I have too much time on my hands, I tend to slip into this horrible state which I do not care to describe or am not able to in a way that is concise and un-misunderstandable. But this state has manifested itself in most of my posts below since the holidays have started so, if you notice anything kooky about me during this period of leisure, it is, highly possible that that is the state I am referring to.
The period of leisure is going to end. Something I am ironically, very glad about. And this is the post to indicate what I am going to do when it ends.
I am going to severe the possibility of acquiring new relationships of any kind that takes up too much mental space for the next year. I am placing all what-I-think-to-be an established group of connections/relationships into an ‘ark’ and I shall no longer put in effort to discover/create/worry on an intra/interpersonal scale unless it is a passive process where the other party makes it clear. This has little real-world implications (no one will see any difference) but means a lot to me. Because my head actively creates junk out of the littlest things which are counterproductive to my life.
And the worst thing for me to see is for myself to slide back into that past, no matter how appealing it looks and how ‘reformed’ and ‘informed’ I think myself to be. I shall not let my delusional self decide. The rational shall drive.
I am temporarily removing the ‘person’ from me and for the next year, for not just survival’s sake but to flourish and to continue in the future. I shall be a machine, because the roleplay needs it. But a machine with consciousness and appreciation for the past characters.