So I was planning to head on to actively ‘participate’ in Youtube– by that, I mean uploading videos. From the time I discovered how to use the video function in my webcam a few weeks back, I have been taking self-conversations, long, rambling ones almost daily with an average length of 17-25 minutes– I find it easier to figure out things and sort out my thoughts when I talk to the camera. Odd, but well.

I thought it would be kind of kill-two-birds-with-one-stone if I were to upload future videos– ones with the audience in mind. I thought that I can interact with the appropriate community there which I’d already took to (through video responses to several of my frequented channels) and at the same time sort out my thoughts. And I promised myself to only do a single take and not waste any time– I will not care about trivial things like potential judgments people can have on me. And so I proceeded on to shoot a self-introduction.

It was only then I knew that this would be a failure. The first take was 23 minutes. The second was 17. The third was 13— I wrote down some key points and made sure I’ll stick to it but it was still soooo long. ‘Digress’ is my middle name. Maybe ‘Long-winded’ can be the next succeeding candidate if the former was too common. Alright, so I thought I’ll just upload that, whatever. I made it clear in that video that my channel will not be the typical kind of channel– I am not seeking to garner any subscriptions, favourites, comments etc., it was just meant to be a log of my daily thoughts. And the reason why I am uploading those is because I want to be ‘alone in a public place’, if ‘you’ get what I mean.

But it was only when I was really setting off to upload it that I became a little self-conscious and I went to attempt to trim the parts of the video which I thought projected quite a negative image. But the whole process was playing a prank on me– I have no idea how trim the parts without taking a whole hour to do it. That was when I knew that this entire thingummybob is not for me. It was another social-networking trap which will fry your brains in time to come.

I’ll just stick to my own corner, selectively watching videos of my nearly 200+ subscriptions and refuse to comment unless I am sure my comment will be entirely slighted or nor duplicated by anyone at all.

That is me. And that is all.

(I’ll still talk to myself via my camera but I will never have any intentions of uploading anything. Blogging is a much more efficient avenue. Ciao.)

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