I love myself. I love life. I love everything that life brings— especially the variety. I love what I see when I sit on the hilltop of the Universe and look down. So many things, so many people, so many different ways. They are all so wonderful because everything’s so different. And that’s wonderful. It never gets boring. Everything interacting with everything else. Grief is wonderful, anger is wonderful, joy is wonderful, jealousy is wonderful. Because they’re all so humane. And I love myself for sitting there and watching. Because I feel so alone and so appropriate. Have I isolated myself at will? Perhaps at first, but now, primarily irreversible and I do not have a reason to do so. And because I will feel wonderful when I find a creature like me. And yes indeed, I have myself. I love myself. And I can always love myself until I decide not to and when I decide to and I coexist very well with myself.
But looking beyond the surface, I think I love these things because I see myself having risen above all that and they are, because of that, inferior. Oh, so beautifully humane— and flawed. But still beautiful. Flaws are. I do not know whether I’m working towards being more flawed or not.
[I think I sound queer. Yes, indeed you do. Well take what’s here at face value— if it has one that is. I’m feeling really blank right now. Maybe because of the consecutive exams and I’m ‘feeling’ more positive about the tests than what I’d expected.] But I really love myself. I am the most perfect being I can find in the world because even if I’m disatisfied with myself, I work towards progress. But that’s because I’m sure you are like that to yourself as well. If you aren’t, then you aren’t going along with my set of norms. And that’s alright.
It’s getting queer-er. Nevermind. Bye and see you (referring to the blog).
Insert, Edit: I really think I was crazy. And I do not know whether I ‘told’ myself to say that I love myself because it serves a certain self-help or ___ purpose or not. I think I do not know because I really do not wish to figure that out. And this paragraph is getting crazier too. I realize that with every paragraph clarifying about how the above is crazy, it gets crazier.