[I see that I have digressed severely. From just wanting to upload the video and post a one-liner or two about my immediate thoughts to saying all that.]

Video Description: This inspiring story by VC2 producer Sandi Bachom is about finding laughter in the last place you would think. In 1944, Werner Reich was a teenager in the Nazi death camp known as Auschwitz-Birkena… This inspiring story by VC2 producer Sandi Bachom is about finding laughter in the last place you would think. In 1944, Werner Reich was a teenager in the Nazi death camp known as Auschwitz-Birkenau, when the infamous Josef Mengele, “The Angel of Death,” randomly “selected” 96 boys out of 5,000, saving them from the gas chamber. Werner was one of the surviving “Birkenau Boys” spared, it seems, because of a bad joke.

“I can’t keep constantly going around whining and crying and so on, I can’t. I don’t want to. Because I had a choice of either dying or being alive. I’m being alive and I’m not alive in order to mourn, that’s not the purpose. Life is here to live, to be happy, to enjoy not to go around to make yourself and other people miserable.”

(By the way, I don’t see the Holocaust the same way as most people do (not in the form of denial though). It was after reading Viktor Frankl’s book “Man’s search for meaning”, highly insightful.)
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So true. Was just browsing around Youtube when I saw this featured below. It kind of coincides with my psyche lately— that I am living for nothing and no one else except for myself. So if I find that you’re messing around with my mind, you’re out of my life, I don’t want to mull over things anymore and I won’t. (“You” does not pointedly mean a single person, just people in general.)

And I’m not going to entertain thoughts of prematurely ending my life anymore (not that I have since quite a long time ago, but for a long time, I want to but I can’t find a way to so I didn’t and anyway, I don’t think I’m one who can take action easily). Because, life is not hard at all, life is so easy to live through— it all depends on how you live and f everything and everyone who makes it hard for me. It’s not my fault if my life is hard, it’s theirs but it’s my fault if I react to it in a way that harms myself. So off you go, all the #@@!!@$%^%%$&^%*&^()^(*^%%^$%#$@! in the world. It’s not my fault, I don’t get why am I placing the blame on myself and not on all of you and reacting in such a passive way.

Such a stupid world. And you, you are so weak. I don’t understand why you need to do all that to yourself. From now on, I’m not going to experience anymore negative emotions— including the negative nuances from the lack of emotions. I’ll just face life upfront and be loud and insane (insane, a ‘quality’ which I already possess). I’m looking at life like it is a once-in-a-lifetime carnival ticket and assuming that I’m neutral about the rides, I am going to try all of them because heck, I got the ticket right? Since I’ve got nothing else to do, I’d might as well. Or I’d just hang around at one and ride it over and over again until I’ve gotten enough of it or I’ll just sleep on some bench or something or just eat ice-cream. I definitely wouldn’t forfeit the ticket until I’m called to leave, because I’ve got nothing else to do! So in whichever ways I live my life, I’ll live until I die.

So if anything or anyone’s annoying or just having a negative effect on my psyche, I’ll just erase. Difference from the previous time is that this time— I wouldn’t even mull over it, unless thinking about it helps me in some strange ways.

I might not sound rational or coherent or whatever right now but I need to get it out. I have already moderated the content a little without it sounding too bad to be made public (and no, I don’t have private posts. If you have private posts, you’d might as well keep a journal— with a lock secured on it.)

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