It was after KI. A lesson where I repeatedly fell in and out of consciousness. I feel woozy and faint— I want to fall into a deep, deep sleep badly. Preferably, never to awake again.

Before the conked-out episode, I was eating cheese fries stealthily because I hadn’t had breakfast and lunch because I didn’t have the time to eat— or rather, I didn’t make time for myself to eat. Maybe I didn’t need to hide it— I wonder if the teacher minds. Probably not.

The guy sitting behind me makes it so vague— he makes excuses without feeling bad for it— neither does he mean any harm. He’s just self-serving. Is there such a word? Yesterday he said he’ll send it to me and it was at 11+ pm when he said he’ll send it to me today. And just now, he says probably tomorrow. I have to get the magazine published before tuesday on the last week of June— before it eats into the holidays.

That is the reason why I didn’t sleep much last night. And that’s perhaps why I can’t take in the philosophy of science in KI— not that its just dry. Its just me.

And the people are making it harder to happen. No one gets anyone else. Maybe I’m overreacting— but if I don’t, I’m very sure it would be worse. These people… All people…

I’m weary of all of you beings around me. Yet I must continue to act. Because its much easier to translate something artificial into actions than my complex inner self— an infinite dimension which I don’t know all about.

I was reading this self-help book that doesn’t think that its readers are helpless. I got it yesterday from a second hand book stand along with a piano manuscript. I was chatting with the store owner. Obligated but I don’t mind. And it turns out that I knew her neice. It was $16 in total. She charged me $15 instead.

Walking out of the classroom, I took the route to the computer labs. I was the second last to leave. I don’t know if I should call out to anyone who had left before me and are walking just ahead. I didn’t know, so I didn’t.

Making a turn, I glanced down as usual because I didn’t want to look into the classroom to the left of me. I saw the group of people heading towards the spiral staircase on the third storey. The last person to leave was carrying a bunch of pink styrofoam flowers. She was right below the group on the second storey. I didn’t see them meet.

You’d better fix this. If you screw it up, I’ll haunt you.

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