(What’s written is perhaps only valid for today.)
I’ve become so much staler a person than when it all started.
Do we learn lessons to depersonify ourselves?
What does it mean to be the sage of life’s lessons?
All but the Dead and the Objective.
I dread the straightjacket wapping on to me.
Yet, that is the only way.
And I, famously, have no preference nor say in it all.
I want to smother something.
Is it because I think that it will add life to mine?
Maybe more so because I’m mean and I don’t want others to live in their own perfect ways.
Because mine’s the way everyone should be living— miserable.
But why did I turn out this way?
And it will all go back to where it started.
Now, I want to smother everything.
But a ‘want’ is purely a ‘want’ in my precise dictionary;
Something I’ll never become.
I’ll just hate immensly as always and since I’ll never allow it to be expressed, it gets absorbed within me and I’ll live on with a compounded measure of bitterness within me.
I can name out the people I want to throw imaginary darts at in my mind (DEAR PERSON, WHY RUIN ME FURTHER)— but I know, on the other hand, it is my mind which has exaggerated all these; they might not be that bad— but then again, so what?
I’m so different from what I seem. But that’s because those are 2 persons altogether. The one you don’t see much runs this blog.