I’m too lazy to blog properly. And since what I’ve been thinking is going into flickr mails, I might as well paste here a part what I wrote.

“But do ‘these’ things really ‘matter’? Wittgenstein said something which I took more words to say that philosophy leaves the world untouched. It helps us to understand (whether we understand what’s ‘true’ and ‘essential’ or not is a different matter) but does nothing concrete for our lives <— maybe create fear and anxiety when we find out we might not even exist after all :O. Note that I don’t really endorse either this viewpoint or the other. I realized that I don’t take a stand in anything but I know how both sides (both sides refering to both sides in general issues) function, probably its due to the fact that I find loopholes in both sides and neither sides ‘perfect’ and I can’t stand the common short-sightedness of people who are extreme proponents of a certain stand.

And I think about science and how it doesn’t mean that if ‘something’ can’t be uncovered by science, it doesn’t exist. Nothing can prove that what science can see is complete (although science could but you proving that you yourself exist without any other propositions is invalid). It is more valid than other systems and helps our lives more than others but it doesn’t mean that its the be all and end all.

And another voice in my head argues back that science is almost omniscient in everything our 5 senses can experience in this world. And we can only see, feel, touch, smell, hear what we can see, feel, touch, smell, hear of this world. So essentially, science covers the entire world of this possibly limited world we live in. We can’t prove whether this world of ours is real or complete because our senses are possibly limited in the first place (I used ‘possibly’ because it might not be). I think that it is only safe to say that everything that is real and evident is only real and evident to us.

And everything totally unverifiable, like what happens in life after death, probably does not matter to us at all in the first place. ‘Unverifiable’ is determined by how one view isn’t more superior than the other as ‘facts’ are unavailable to judge. Like you can say tht the blue chemical is more likely to be copper (II) sulphate than potassium dichromate because of the color but one can argue that there’s a marshmellow land in our afterlife and the other can say that its just blank space and both aren’t more right than the other. Okay, I don’t know why am I talking about these, its totally irrelevant but that’s the way my brain functions, it just flows to this and to that and you could never chart the source and the way it progresses XD

On independence, I should take back my word. I think independence, like selfishness, kindness, love, concern and other human phenomenons are innate to us, if not a potential when a group of humans get together such that there’s a meter to measure one’s independence aptitude, selfishness by, say in a group of extremely selfish people, there’s always one that will emerge more generous than the other. Whereas, when you’re alone in existence, you’re both the most selfish and generous person, thereby rendering the 2 phenomenons redundant. So I think independence is a natural phenomenon that’s being ascribed a word to it by us. As to did we create it, I think the *something* that programmed us and all the other organisms on Earth is responsible for it. In a way that that *something* programmed copper to have its qualities when reacted the hydrochloric acid but whether its reacted or not with HCl, its not responsible for it (that’s my views). That fate is limited in the way that we’re programmed to be humans but what we do with it is our freewill in action.

My mind works in a way that, if I think that feeling this pain is not about to cause serious mortal damage to myself, I shouldn’t care. And while on a roller coaster (I’ve got some acrophobia), I tell myself that even as I’m feeling terrified, I wouldn’t die of this even if there’s a falling sensation and its designed for me to feel this way so I should probably not care about it. However, life is pretty mundane with a brain like mine >_> But I’m not complaining 😛

Its the emotional part of my brain which is being shut off. I see it as an unecessary appendage that sometimes complicate matters or subjectifies matters unnecessarily. Whenever anything happens, I’ll assess what actually happened and what I can do to resolve it, the emotional part where I whine and stuff is gone. (But at times, they do come back and flood me. I get these attacks maybe twice month or so.) My mind brainwashes itself to think that studying is alright and that I don’t hate being in the company of so-and-so. If my actual mind is allowed to run free, I’ll be totally out of this society XD.