That’s the best way to survive (in cases of trouble). Of course, to repel critics, if you’re sure that the waters are safe enough, go ahead and plunge in.
I observed that from a while ago, I have developed a kind of survival/defense mechanism (Not self initiated preaching. The below are all observations on how I’ve evolved.)
Unless I trust a person enough or am certain that I can survive with no inhibitions with the person, (of course, what I trust would take another post, but what I trust is determined by my gut— a very rational gut, of course)
1. I detach myself from my inputs into a relationship (any kinds of relationships) from the output, I take the word reciprocation out of my dictionary. I shall not expect anything in return from what I’ve put in. If anything does come back, it would be classified as a pleasant surprise.
2. If I do desire reciprocation, I make sure that I will only make an effort when the other party makes one.
The consequences of expecting reciprocation is of obvious— that you’ll get hurt unless a reciprocation is made. And with the reciprocation, you’ll show that you’re grateful to the person by returning it again and so on and so forth. With each exchange, the relationship becomes more intense this becomes a routine and you expect it to carry on.
Until one day it snaps and you become devastated.
I’ve had too much of these.
The trick is to detach your feelings from what you do (not preaching).
The second one is to make this entire process more humane— if there’s a kind soul, I would play kind soul to the person.
If I ever were to get into a long-term relationship of any nature in the future, I would count it day by day, neither speculating in the future, or collecting the dusts from the past. When its gone, its gone. It was there yesterday, but its not today. Maybe tomorrow yes, but that’s for tomorrow, not today.
Nowadays, I hold almost all of the shares to myself, not many hold a stock. Similarly, I don’t hold many of anyone else’s shares.
I live life doing my best not to bother others so that others won’t bother me. I prefer to hang around a select few, people whom I’m certain that I won’t get hurt from.
The ideal reciprocation is that each other has an possession of each other’s shares. And even if you decide to give your shares away, it is up to the other person to decide whether to accept or not.
Its always dangerous to give yourself away, but if you do, bundle them up together before you present them to someone else because when someone throws parts of yourself away suddenly, its difficult to search them all up and piece them separate pieces together like a puzzle.
It takes ages.
Make it short and sweet, like a closed deal.