I have this wierd thing about seeing author portraits of the book I’m reading, or looking at self portraits of a flickr member who don’t usually do self portraits, or seeing pictures of my online, purely online friends, after I have cemented a mental image of them. Its wierd. You know what I mean, you have this image of them, how they should look like, based on how they speak, their behavior.

So more often than not, how they look like is much different from how I expected them to be, and if this happens, I’ll force that image (how the person actually looks like in person) out of my mind and stick to the fantasy figure. For one, I’ll have a terrible time trying to immerse myself into the book again, because I can’t get used to the new image, and a part of me maintains that the person don’t look like s/he wrote the book. The fantasy is gone.

For online friends, its kinda worse. Its hard to put 2 and 2 together, its hard to imagine that you’re speaking this way to a person who don’t look like s/he would speak that way. Spontaneous IM-ing with the particular person while carrying with you this thought is rather disturbing. When the person types ‘haha’, you’ll begin to wonder.. hmm.. seriously, I can’t imagine s/he laughing at something like that!

And after this thought, I’ll proceed to throw away his/her actual image for his/her mental image.

I think that I don’t sound like how I look too, but then again, I don’t think I talk like that in person.. Or do I? Well, I don’t think I do. This is how I talk:

“Huh? I dunno, do you want? If you want, then its okay with me..”

.

.

“So do you want?”

Hah, at least this is the type of normal conversation I have with yeeherng, we can’t decide on anything! Yet I think I sound quite decisive online.

Well, I think, its either you ‘show’ the person online your photo on your display picture first time you chat, look at the author portrait before you read the book, post a picture of yourself on your display picture or avatar so that the first time someone visits, your actual image is their mental image or.. Or.. never show your picture to others.

Consequence? None, hahaha.

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