I just quite forgot that I’m just 14 when they asked for my age and I was shocked, truly, not to say they were too. The way I look at things literally, my gaze has just aged, so much.
I alighted the bus at some random place cos I’m just sick of going home. It was just after my grade 7 mock piano exam at my teacher’s house and being myself, of course I screwd it up.
I was quite lucky to discover that Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf was nearby so I ordered a rather stale blueberry cheesecake and stared at it. I just can’t stand myself nowadays, ever since I experimented with poetry, everything turned poetic, even the way I talk to myself.
It was dark already. What time, I don’t know, I don’t bring around my cell and watch around anymore, just don’t feel like watching time go by. But I see stars, 5 of them. I didn’t know they blink, I always thought they were elements of kid poetry. They just look so alone, so high up, so left out, even though there were 5 of them there.
So I stared at them, I believe I was one of the few watching them that night, that hour, that moment. And I was the only one basking outside the cafe, so it must be late. I wish you’d come, the angle was just perfect. The trees, wonderful leaves from which the stars peeked out geefully.
And I don’t know how I chose that spot.
I was thinking of poetry of course, but funny, I can’t seem to write at that moment in time. I guess I need distraction, conflict to write, not peace, absolute peace. Or I feel that you can relate better to the ambience over there through prose instead.
It was timeless, that precious moment, it feels better than knowing that you passed maths. The light just passed across your temple and removed whatever lines drawn in the past by constant worries.
I wished mom could have seen that night. I wished everyone was there, basking in the moonlight, only after, I discovered that somehow, it was a moonless night.
I wish mom could stop worrying about me, because I’m alright. I wish dad would stop thinking so much about work. I wish that everyone’s peaceful at this moment.
You should have seen the night, it was one, one of the few where I saw clouds. Its just, so simple.
The skies, the stars and me.
From which it holds keys.
To life, to you and me.
We don’t need answers, seriously, if only one day we would stop asking, stop wanting, stop killing half our lives searching for answers that are there, but are not meant to be uncovered.
Oh child what do you see tonight?
I see stars, stars smiling back at me.
And that was the best smile ever caught in my mind and I no longer question– why, why are you there?
You should have seen the night, you could have tonight, please do.
Walking away, I looked up again to bade farewell and saw 2 more stars to my left, and another one more as I advanced. Then, I saw the moon.
I was just 14, I am just 14, and I have the skies, the stars before me. And that’s all I ask for.