Uneventful day today and I believe this will be the way I’m starting me post for the next uh, 321 days. Aurgh, I screwd my math, seriously and terribly! Nah, not the unfortunately virtuous one, “Oh math? Ah, my math’s so awful that I got one mark short of perfection.” When I mean, screwd, I mean Horribly Screwd! C’mon, unscrew me. Screwdrivers out! Ugh, sick, awfully sick. Okay, settle, settle.
In many ways, my parents are very supportive and they have just realized how much of a loner I’ve become, “Gal, you have no life!” Uh yes thanks, thanks for the reminder. Oh well, I don’t want one, shrugs. Frankly speaking, I actually enjoy being a loner, curse me and stab me if you want to, Blah I’ll still remain as lonely as ever, just with more scars and bruises that don’t actually mean much to me whatsoever. Their just a part of me, that’s all, live with it. Ah, nowadays I’m really weird, going borderline emo. Just last night, I cried suddenly after mom coached me at math. Whatever happened to me, I don’t know. I just know that we should never marry guys we meet in college, especially with both in the same courses and interests. Whatever that will happen to that kid, like me, will be extremely uncalled for. Yea, and you know what I’m getting at uh? Sad life.
Hurhur, and I really wonder how people do arrive at conclusions. Like my mom, she was all very ready to call in the psychiatrist last night when I stayed on till 0030 in the study. How very funny. Hoho, you see, I’m supposed to sleep and rise alike in an army regime, down at 2330 latest and up at 0620 sharp. Sad life, and to make it happier, I wait till the Household’s in sound sleep and sneak out of bed! I’ve really got this terrible insomnia without side effects like dozing off in the middle of that math test and all. Body clock gets me up at 0430 to 0530 for no apparent reason, independent of the time I settle down. Ah and speaking of this, I realized I never get cold or hungry. Really scary and fatalistic to think of.
Ah and now back to my lonely life. Mom thinks I’m a hardcore nerd, cos the moment I drop my bag at the door, I’ll be seen in the study from then on. And so, she decided I really need to be counseled but I’m never gonna let that happen. Actually frankly speaking, half the time, I can’t put a name to what hell am I doing. Time really flies when you’re at a book or when you’re stuck at the very first question of math test and can’t get on. Hurhur, read this book on personality disorders, don’t ask. Eeks, was narcissistic sometime ago, and now I really do hate myself then. I don’t know, now I’ve got really high self-esteem but I’m really a cross between anxiety and schizoid. Panic attacks man, like last night. You should really film me when I’m at it man, will do good to our LA film that might threaten to destroy us all again.
But its cool, I love myself for all this dookie shit I’ve become, at least I’ve grown. Hoho, I know of a serial killer who nabbed girls and destroyed them by letting them go. Sometimes, its really easier being the loner and observe everything at an omniscient angle. Ah, I helped a blind man today at Novena, spent 2 hours with him, walking to and fro Novena and United Square, eating with him and so on. Oh well, shall save it for later when I’m bored. I did a good deed but felt nothing. I’m really a bore.