Went to school today and shrugs, its bleak. That was the one time when I felt so helpless that I’d offer anything in order to regain my speech. I’m lost, was lost and will always be lost. This was also the one time when I felt so inexistent. Am I even alive? I’m not! I’m dead, was dead and was never alive. Why the bloody hell am I sitting down there on the fence? Tell me, you know best. What should I do to make you satisfied? I have to know cos I can’t afford to let this go. We just or I just want you to be more confident and trusting. It just hurts to know. We did our best, there was nothing said to the contrary except for the fact that it was impossible just to reach you. Will you just offer us a chance? People are not really what they appear to be simply cos they react differently to others, its really sad if you warrant that type of treatment from others. How can we understand when we can’t relate in the first place? I swear that we are not entirely what you think us to be and I’m not waging war on this grounds. This is purely peace-making. Probably there is peace but its what appears to be the setting for a coild war. Once again, sorry. I suppose that’s just about all we can do.

On the other hand, we’ve finally got a coach! But the guy’s currently still in NS so…feb the 5th or 6th he’ll be back? I dunno but with everyone being glad, there is no reason for me not to be glad as well. Look, I’m not saying that I so hated this but its just that by tradition, I don’t feel good about anything except for some but that’s not my concern today. And so what’s my concern? Oh yea, there’s like 3 new sec 1s, all gals. And my friends were like brainwashing then with nasty gossips about some…some…Oops, shouldn’t be airing those dirty, smelly laundry here in the public. Well, they can be so bloody scandolous that I’ll get sued one day man, who knows? Haha and obviously I didn’t join in cos I’ve never got a life to do such a thing.

I don’t hate and I don’t get hated, or maybe I did this time. That’s why I’m so bloody hurt. Look, its just so unfair when someone hates you and not vice versa. Its even more so when there’s no justified reason surrounding it. Do I represent everyone? Why me? Well, that’s sad enough but nothing’s ever fair so I guess its alright to hate me or whoever it is. But just take note that someone will get killed again. Its just so hard to learn to die when you’ve never been dead before.

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